i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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