Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
