Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I need water and some morals
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
