True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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