the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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