he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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