i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
