I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
