the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
