the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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