I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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