i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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