I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
