Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
