I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
