it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
