I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
