Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
The air taste purple.
Randomize
