I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
