i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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