i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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