TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
