thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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