he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
