My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
