it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
