The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
