how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
