have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
