I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
MIDGETS
????
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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