SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
