You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
