And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
