yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
