Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
