You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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