Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
