Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
