Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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