a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
