so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
