We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
