Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
