Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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