hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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