Me too!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
