Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
