I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
