im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
