Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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