Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
