no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
40s are totally the cure
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize