My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
