OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
