dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
