i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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