if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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