we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
