Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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