i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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