Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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