I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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